ATTACK OF THE TODDLERS
by MigratingCoconuts06
Summary: TAVINTON GETS SUCKED INTO A NURSURY WHERE HE IS ATTACKED BY TODDLERS. Hence the title. Review!


A/N: This is a one shot fic that I decided to write out of pure boredom. I hope you find it funny…..It's out of randomness!

Disclaimer: I don't own THE PATRIOT

**Attack of the Toddlers**

It was just another typical Wednesday night at Mount Hope Church as the toddlers were preparing to go into their classes while screaming bloody murder for their parents to stay with them. Lisa and Amber were old pros when it came to handling toddlers, especially ones that doesn't seem to know how to quit crying.

"It's okay sweetie." Lisa said soothingly to Connor, one of the toddlers. "Your okay. Your mommy will be back later. Then you can see her. And if you're good you get a sucker!"

"A rucker! I wanna rucker!" Connor happily shouted.

"Later, you can have one later, when your mommy comes." was Lisa's reply. Yup, another typical Wednesday night. However, there was something unusual that was going to happen, Amber could feel it in her bones.

"Today feels really strange." Amber said.

"How's that?" Lisa asked looking slightly confused.

"I don't know. Something doesn't seem right here. I have this feeling something is going to happen and I'm not sure what." Amber said looking around at the abundance of toddlers reeking havoc on every toy in sight. There was already an out of the ordinary amount of toddlers that had come that night. Normally there is six toddler's altogether but this night there were fifteen. That's a whole lot of toddler to take care of for two teenagers.

In the corner of the room where no one could see unless you happened to walk over to it there was a loud crash. Lisa and Amber started freaking out because they were to be blamed for it if anything happened. Amber and Lisa noticed that all of the toddlers were in sight and none appeared to be crying. Lisa looked at Amber with a frightened look on her face, which Amber returned.

"Do you think we should go see what that was?" Amber said with her voice sounding shaky.

"Probably." Lisa said wide-eyed. "But you go first!"

"Thanks a lot. Appreciate it!" Amber said with sarcasm.

Amber crept slowly towards the corner with as cautious steps as she could manage. Amber looked behind her because she felt like someone was following her. It was Ian, a very cute toddler that was in the room. It appeared that he was following Amber with a big smirk on his face. Amber couldn't help but smile at his efforts to impersonate her. Then she looked up and glared at Lisa who was using the very tiny Emily as a shield. Amber looked back down at Ian and told him to go play with the other kids, which, he reluctantly did. I continued to walk towards the corner. I peeked slowly around where the ramp is and jumped at what I saw. It was COLONEL TAVINGTON! The person from my favorite movie of all time! Why would he be here? He's a fictional character from a movie! And of all places to appear, he landed in the Noah's ark room. I screamed, "Lisa, come quick!"

Lisa ran across the room trying to avoid the toddler mosh pit. She got to where I was standing and her jaw dropped.

"He's that guy from that movie you made me watch!" Lisa exclaimed looking half amused and half confused.

"What the bloody hell has happened?" Tavington yelled.

Amber slapped him as hard as she could. "Watch your mouth! Can't you see Toddlers in here?"

"My apologies miss. But may I ask what is going on?" He said as calmly and sincerely as he could muster.

"That's the thing. I have no idea." Amber said with an apparent fake smile.

Connor, being the curious little tike that he is, had came over with a big grin on his face at the sight of an older male to play with him. Tavington gave a disgusted look towards the little boy, all he was to Tavington was a slimy little person. Connor didn't seem to notice his distaste and came over and grabbed Tavingtons hand and said, "Come play!"

"I'd rather not, thank you." Tavington said trying to get his hand away from him. Connor gave him a bewildered look not understanding why this man was pulling away. Then an evil smirk played across his lips. "Ian! Come here!" He yelled across the room. Ian ran over as fast as his little legs would take him. Amber knew what they were about to do because she fell victim to it when she was a newbie first starting out working in the nursery. Ian stopped in front of Tavington smiling. Connor and Ian gave one last look at each other then they jumped on Tavington full force! They were wrestling him as they had done with me. Tavington wasn't sure what to do. He stood up hoping that they would let go but they were holding onto him. Connor had him around the neck and Ian was holding onto his right arm. The three-year-old Josh saw what was going on and ran to join his fellow comrads. He linked onto Tavingtons left arm. Tavintgon began to run around the room in circles not sure of what he should do. As much as he hated children he didn't want to hurt any of them because he knew how fragile they were. He stopped and looked at Amber and Lisa, who were trying to hold back laughs, with a horror-stricken face.

"HELP ME!" He screamed.

"You seem to be doing fine on your own." Lisa said laughing.

The rest of the children stopped from their play time and saw their friends wrestling with Tavington. They thought that Tavington was playing a game with their friends so they decided they wanted to join. The twelve children remaining in the room ran fast towards Tavington and they tackled him to the ground. Tavington yelled for help but Lisa and Amber still stuck in their laughter. All the children were enjoying themselves as well.

"I BEG OF YOU! HELP ME!" He cried.

Amber finally consented and yelled "Who wants a snack!"

There was a stampede of short people running towards the table where they would eat their snack. Tavington had gotten up quickly hoping to avoid being toppled over again by a herd of small children. "Thank you for finally getting them off me." He said, anger seeping through his gritted teeth.

"No problem!" Amber said with an enormous smile on my face.

"I think we should stick with something simple tonight." Lisa said laughing.

"Cool beans. Works for me." Amber stated. "Hey Tavy! Why don't you join us?"

"I'd prefer not to." He sneered.

"Oh, come on." Amber beckoned. "They won't attack you anymore, I promise." Amber said putting her hand over my heart and gave him an assuring smile. Tavington decided it would be nice to sit after what had just occurred the moment before. Lisa finished passing the snacks out to the hungry toddlers. They devoured their food as Lisa and Amber had a light snack of their own. Tavington sat there disgusted as he saw the food appearing all over the toddlers. _Toddlers never seem to be able to keep anything in their mouths _he thought. His facial expressions seemed to soften a bit when he saw a little girl Jade smiling brightly at him. He immediately went back to sneering when he saw Lisa watching him. Snack time had ended and the children were immediately tearing the place apart once again. Tavington remained in the toddler-sized chair looking quite uncomfortable. You know there is a bigger chair Amber would say. I know he replied. The night was drawing to an end and the children were growing restless. They decided they would give Tavington another go. One snuck around behind Tavington and grabbed one of his legs. Then another grabbed his other leg. Then it seemed all at once they had once again toppled him over to the ground.

"I love toddlers." Amber stated as a matter-of-factly. It was time for the church service to be over and the parents were slowly making their way to collect their kids. A parent had come to the door to pick up her child and her eyes fell to this giant heap of children in the floor.

"What's going on?" She said with eyes bulging out of her head.

"Um…..nothing." Amber said with a small smile. "Raven, your mommy's here!" Amber shouted.

"YAY!" Raven yelled as she ran for the door.

One by one the children were gone and we were stuck with the cleaning. Tavington walked over to us and said "Where do I go?"

"You can go home with Lisa." Amber stated.

"But I need to go home." He said

"That's not my problem."

And with that he lowered his head and went home with Lisa. That wasn't the end of what Amber was sure to come.

A/N: Maybe I'll make this into a little story of strange adventures. I don't know. This story was just for randomness so I don't care if you flame it. Be as brutally honest as you can. That's how I become a better writer. THANKS! But please to review!


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